dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
