Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
