I'm jealous of your bromance
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
