Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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