woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
