its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
