He kissed a someone with a penis
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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