"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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