I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
