She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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