people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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