what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
