come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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