Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
