I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize