I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
