your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
