He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
