Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
