He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
