on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
