you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
