I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
