I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
FUCK WHALES
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