only if we run a train.
done.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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