I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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