The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
