rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
