it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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