How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
