i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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