I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
