hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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