after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I have post one night stand depression
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
