This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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