"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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