I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
