I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
