What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
send nudes
from the living room?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
