Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Randomize
