haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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