my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You're earring is so big in my mouth
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So many bounce houses so little time
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
