She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize