bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
