we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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