About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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