I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
