I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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