Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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