we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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