turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
